You tell me,
“good job, mama!”
as I am doing something routine,
changing your diaper or
picking up your stuffed animals,
and I stop,
eyes tearing,
at your soft
sweet voice, telling me
what I so desperately
want to hear,
want to be:
a good mama.
Tonight I will think
of all the ways
I am not doing a good job, mama,
but maybe
in this moment
I am.
Author’s thoughts: I more often feel like I’m doing a bad job than a good job as a mom. I make so many mistakes, feel so torn in different directions, feel constantly like my heart is HERE but my mind is THERE.
But sometimes, there’s magic. Sometimes, my daughter says something and I’ll think: you are the kindest, sweetest, smartest person on the planet and I don’t know if it’s nature or nurture or just dumb luck, but I get to experience magic in this moment and for that, I am lucky. For that, good job mama for having the luck to grace the same world as this tiny fairy being.
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